So today my school went into a lock down because they thought that somebody with a gun was near our school. Turns out, it was actually just a car backfiriing. Woo. There went my one chance of excitement.
Anyways, so I was talking about that blonde whom I appear to grow a crush for, which is weird. I’ve come to realize that she isn’t technically blond since her roots aren’t blond, they’re black. Somehow… I should be disappointed, and I am. Yet my mind is forcing that reality back and is trying to make me think that her hair is magical still. It’s like my mind wants me to keep my focus on her still, even though it knows that I’m very superficial.
Today (lol) was weird. During fourth period, I noticed that she was staring at me, and I couldn’t help but to look back. I was trying very hard not to, but it got the best of me. She creeped me out… I was supposed to be the one doing that! How dare she! I think she caught on to me creepily staring at her, and I guess it’s kind of my fault for obviously doing it. I don’t know if I’m deaf or not, but I think I heard her say something about me being a creeper. And that makes me feel sad.
I told my friend about that situation and she said that she “liked” me. The only problem with this is that my friend doesn’t even know who this girl is and her behavior. Trust me on this, we [probably] have nothing in common. Then again, I do get along well with people who I don’t share things in common with, it’s just that I have difficulty starting a conversation. That’s always the cause, huh? I don’t know what I meant by that.
I don’t like getting my hopes up because that’s what I’ve been doing all these years. I have expectations of something, it goes the other way, and once again I’m dissatisfied. I’m too shy to approach strangers and I always imagine the terrible things that might happen if I did. So I’m hoping this small little crush goes away soon. Maybe it’ll make this year go a lot quicker.
If you guys must know, her name is Justis (pronounced Justice). Her writing is terrible, maybe even worst that mine.